Hello creatures of the internet,
I happened to take a look at my blog tonight - something I very rarely ever do anymore. Why? What have I been up to since my last post, which was about a year and a half ago? Losing myself, really. Life has been so busy. Some really good things have happened, like getting a great job that'll let me support my family for the rest of our lives, along with some downers as well. But that's how it goes for everyone, right?
I'm currently at a crossroad in my life. Something internally that I feel will determine things I have no idea how to even explain. This sentence you're reading now has been re-written so many times because I'm trying not to let this turn into a really depressive, venting type post. I suppose what I really want to express is I have no idea when I'll be writing again. I could be another couple of years or maybe six. I wish I could be the type of writer that could write in any setting. But unfortunately for me, and it really gets me down that I can't put my mind to it anymore, I need my own space, which I don't have. I need to figure out how to set something up so that I can be in my zen again. Maybe this post will be a good motivator.
I do have a short story I wrote a year ago I plan on self-publishing on Smashwords.com again soon. I'm just waiting on a friend to draw a cover for me since Smashwords requires it.
To the very few who actually read/enjoy my things, I apologize for being away for so long. I hope to find myself again soon. Because if I don't, it might just kill me.
Your humble writing gremlin,
Scott J. Callaway
Sunday, July 05, 2015
Monday, January 20, 2014
The Weird Thing About Nightmares
Hello, creatures of the internet,
Something happened to me the other night
that hasn't happened since when I can remember. I was experiencing a nightmare,
when suddenly I startled awake and kicked violently into the air (more will be
explained about this action) and proceeded to breathe heavily with panic.
I can't remember the last time I woke up from a bad dream like this. It's
rare that I ever do have a nightmare, but when it does happen I usually wake up
with a feeling of unease, not actually carrying out my actions from the dream.
After reflecting upon this on my way to work, there are some
elements about dreams that got me thinking.
Like with most of my dreams I forget a lot of
the minor details, but I dreamt that my mother-in-law was torturing
children in the basement of a big house. All I remember is that I knew that I
had to put a stop to her, and luckily, in that dreamlike convenience sort of way, I had
two metal baseball bats at my disposal to try and put an end to her. I slowly
crept down the wooden steps into the basement, careful not to be discovered
sneaking up on her. The basement was set-up to delight the imagination of a
twisted scientist: obscene torture devices, flasks of hazardous materials no
doubt used for nefarious purposes, and dark, atmospheric lighting. I noticed her
hunched over a child who was strapped tightly to a metal table. Another stroke of luck, her back was facing me. I stepped lightly towards her, my anxiety clenched lungs barely allowing breathing room, then
once I was within reach I gripped the baseball bat tightly, pulled my arms back... and
swung with all the power of Greyskull.
Ping!
Regardless of the force of my
blow, the bat hardly seemed to connect. She turned and looked at me in surprise. I
swung again.
Ping!
And again.
Ping! Ping! Ping!
No matter how much force I put in my
swings, the bat simply deflected from her temple, as if an invisible force-field were protecting from all harm. I was suddenly overcome with a paralyzing feeling
of helplessness. I couldn't stop her. No matter how hard I willed my blows to
knock her head clean off her shoulders, I just couldn't penetrate that debilitating
energy of nightmare power, a force that sabotaged my
intentions to save her victims.
The next thing I remember is that I was
now at the top of the stairs again trying to flee, when I turned and noticed that
she was running up the stairs after me. My last hope was to throw the bat at her
and hope that this time it connected with enough force to knock her out.
Unfortunately, I met with the same depressing results, and as she reached the
final step, I kicked out hard at her face as a final attempt to save myself, and
that’s when I woke up in mid-kick in bed, panting and afraid. To say the least,
I scared the hell out of my wife who laid soundly asleep next to me. Ha ha.
It was that crippling nightmare
factor that got me thinking. Why is our strength and effectiveness stripped
away from us in bad dreams? I remember experiencing a similar episode when I
was kid. I was running away down a dark, unknown forest highway from Chucky from Child's Play, but no matter how fast I tried to run it was like
treading through a thick, swampy bog. All the while, Chucky, whom I found
absolutely terrifying as a kid (a babysitter made me watch it at 3 years old and scarred me for life), would run circles around me while laughing at
my failure to escape him. I never forgot that feeling. I suppose it’s what
makes nightmares so damn scary.
As a kid, I was able to become aware
that I was dreaming. I was a frequent lucid dreamer. The shitty thing is, this only ever
seemed to happen during nightmares. Remember the old “pinch yourself to wake up”
trick? It never worked for me. Instead, whenever I realized I was having a bad dream,
I would squeeze my eyes shut tightly together, and most of the time when I
opened them again I would be awake. Most of the time. One time, whenever I tried this trick the image of my nightmare would briefly focus in a rolling VHS tape inside a VCR. It was like there was no way out of the nightmare until the tape was done playing. That was creepy. And were you ever told about how you can manipulate your dreams and become whatever you want? So do I. Unfortunately, the first and only time I ever realized to try this during a dream/nightmare was thwarted by my dream itself!
It was another ordinary day at school with all my friends, except my friends were monsters. That would normally be the nightmare factor in most dreams, but for one reason or another I didn't question it and we got along great. Later on outside during recess, a human showed up and started killing all my monster friends. That's when my totally pleasant dream about monsters turned into a killer human nightmare. But I steeled myself and decided there was no way I was going to let such atrocities keep happening, so I took a stand against the villain and defended my monster friends. That's when I suddenly realized I was dreaming and became lucid. Then, as the killer and I were facing off, I remembered learning that I could manipulate my own dreams and become anything I could think of. So, like any young boy obsessed with heroes and super-powered persons, I concentrated hard and screamed "SUB-ZERO!" (from Mortal Kombat), and waited for the sudden rush of freezing power to overwhelm my senses. But nothing happened. Instead, as I looked down in my hands in confusion, the monster-killer looked at me and said, "You can't control this dream." Then suddenly my lucidity escaped me, and I can't remember how the rest of the nightmare played out after that.
Well, I'm not really sure what prompted me to write all of this, but I suppose I needed a blog post. :] .. Dreams properties have always fascinated me, and I wish I still had the ability to lucid dream. So I'll write that down on my bucket list, too. Learn how to initiate lucid dreaming.
Your humble writing gremlin,
Scott
It was another ordinary day at school with all my friends, except my friends were monsters. That would normally be the nightmare factor in most dreams, but for one reason or another I didn't question it and we got along great. Later on outside during recess, a human showed up and started killing all my monster friends. That's when my totally pleasant dream about monsters turned into a killer human nightmare. But I steeled myself and decided there was no way I was going to let such atrocities keep happening, so I took a stand against the villain and defended my monster friends. That's when I suddenly realized I was dreaming and became lucid. Then, as the killer and I were facing off, I remembered learning that I could manipulate my own dreams and become anything I could think of. So, like any young boy obsessed with heroes and super-powered persons, I concentrated hard and screamed "SUB-ZERO!" (from Mortal Kombat), and waited for the sudden rush of freezing power to overwhelm my senses. But nothing happened. Instead, as I looked down in my hands in confusion, the monster-killer looked at me and said, "You can't control this dream." Then suddenly my lucidity escaped me, and I can't remember how the rest of the nightmare played out after that.
Well, I'm not really sure what prompted me to write all of this, but I suppose I needed a blog post. :] .. Dreams properties have always fascinated me, and I wish I still had the ability to lucid dream. So I'll write that down on my bucket list, too. Learn how to initiate lucid dreaming.
Your humble writing gremlin,
Scott
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Challenges and Frequency
Hello, creatures of the internet,
We might as well say it out loud. I'm a terrible blogger. I neglect my website like I do my vegetables. Both are terrible of me. Here's why:
1. I've learned that self-publishing is a lot more difficult than I first imagined. Why? Because of marketing. Having your friends and family read your work is great (regrettably, something not many of mine have done), but you're going to need a larger audience to become a successful/popular writer. Unfortunately for me, I have zero interest in marketing. This is a terrible lack of quality to have, because with self-publishing comes with having to do your own marketing unless, for some reason, you have someone else to do it for you. It's a big job! It requires much more than just Facebook posts if you want word of your book to reach as many people as possible. Social media plays a big part, but the truth is I find it difficult putting myself out there because I may be one of the biggest introverts the world has ever seen. Ideally, I'd love to interact with people indirectly through the stories I write, so as to avoid the uncomfortable parts of real-time social interaction. That's why it's my dream to write for a living. God, I'm such a hermit.
2. Video games. OH YOU WONDERFULLY ENJOYABLE YET DETRIMENTAL PASTIME! I can't help it. I love video games. Like a book, many of them have amazing stories to tell. My problem is that whenever I start, I have a hard time putting them aside to focus on more important things, like writing. I've been a gamer since before grade school. It's part of who I am.
Those things are what have been keeping me from devoting myself more fully to my blog. I'm still writing, in fact, and have enough ideas to keep me writing for a long time to come. I'm currently working on a new fiction about parenting, and how difficult, wonderful, and frightening an experience it can be. A lot of my emotions, fears and beliefs are going into this story, and I can't help but feel like it might be the most important thing I ever write. I've completed five chapters thus far.
The Sky Caller is also still in the works. The news is that this story, along with the already written sequel, may be a longer time coming than I've previously stated because I've decided I'm going to try and go the traditional publishing route with it. I really believe in this story, and I'm confident it's just as good as any well known middle-grade/young adult fantasy novel you can find in a bookstore. It's going to be a three book series, two of which are already written, and now that I know more about this universe I've created, I'm strengthening the plot and other story/timeline particulars.
From now on I may use my blog for more than just an outlet for my writing. I may share stories about things that happen in my life, discuss topics that are of particular importance to me, or talk about random things that reveal a little bit more about myself. However, as I don't consider myself that interesting of a person, I can't promise the frequency of these kind of posts. Regardless, I do intend on blogging more regularly. Because, you know... marketing.
Your humble writing gremlin,
Scott
We might as well say it out loud. I'm a terrible blogger. I neglect my website like I do my vegetables. Both are terrible of me. Here's why:
1. I've learned that self-publishing is a lot more difficult than I first imagined. Why? Because of marketing. Having your friends and family read your work is great (regrettably, something not many of mine have done), but you're going to need a larger audience to become a successful/popular writer. Unfortunately for me, I have zero interest in marketing. This is a terrible lack of quality to have, because with self-publishing comes with having to do your own marketing unless, for some reason, you have someone else to do it for you. It's a big job! It requires much more than just Facebook posts if you want word of your book to reach as many people as possible. Social media plays a big part, but the truth is I find it difficult putting myself out there because I may be one of the biggest introverts the world has ever seen. Ideally, I'd love to interact with people indirectly through the stories I write, so as to avoid the uncomfortable parts of real-time social interaction. That's why it's my dream to write for a living. God, I'm such a hermit.
2. Video games. OH YOU WONDERFULLY ENJOYABLE YET DETRIMENTAL PASTIME! I can't help it. I love video games. Like a book, many of them have amazing stories to tell. My problem is that whenever I start, I have a hard time putting them aside to focus on more important things, like writing. I've been a gamer since before grade school. It's part of who I am.
Those things are what have been keeping me from devoting myself more fully to my blog. I'm still writing, in fact, and have enough ideas to keep me writing for a long time to come. I'm currently working on a new fiction about parenting, and how difficult, wonderful, and frightening an experience it can be. A lot of my emotions, fears and beliefs are going into this story, and I can't help but feel like it might be the most important thing I ever write. I've completed five chapters thus far.
The Sky Caller is also still in the works. The news is that this story, along with the already written sequel, may be a longer time coming than I've previously stated because I've decided I'm going to try and go the traditional publishing route with it. I really believe in this story, and I'm confident it's just as good as any well known middle-grade/young adult fantasy novel you can find in a bookstore. It's going to be a three book series, two of which are already written, and now that I know more about this universe I've created, I'm strengthening the plot and other story/timeline particulars.
From now on I may use my blog for more than just an outlet for my writing. I may share stories about things that happen in my life, discuss topics that are of particular importance to me, or talk about random things that reveal a little bit more about myself. However, as I don't consider myself that interesting of a person, I can't promise the frequency of these kind of posts. Regardless, I do intend on blogging more regularly. Because, you know... marketing.
Your humble writing gremlin,
Scott
Friday, May 10, 2013
What I've Been Doing Lately
Hello there, creatures of the internet,
It's been a long time since I've posted anything here and I really don't have any good explanation. Since my last post, I've published Charlie Cradle's Wonderful Existence: A Novella (which you can download for free at Smashwords.com!), and I'm now currently revising The Skycaller. I had been given some feedback that I believe I needed to hear about it, so I've gone back to work on it some more. I love this book, so I want to make sure I give it the respect it deserves before I release it for people to read.
Besides that, I'm just about finished college. I'm on my work placement right now and just a little over a month I'll be graduating. I can't wait! My next step is to find work. Unless my writing suddenly and miraculously takes off so I can do this for a living.
Be on the lookout for The Skycaller pretty soon! I'm confident that once I'm finished with it, it'll be even better than before.
Your humble writing gremlin,
~Scott
It's been a long time since I've posted anything here and I really don't have any good explanation. Since my last post, I've published Charlie Cradle's Wonderful Existence: A Novella (which you can download for free at Smashwords.com!), and I'm now currently revising The Skycaller. I had been given some feedback that I believe I needed to hear about it, so I've gone back to work on it some more. I love this book, so I want to make sure I give it the respect it deserves before I release it for people to read.
Besides that, I'm just about finished college. I'm on my work placement right now and just a little over a month I'll be graduating. I can't wait! My next step is to find work. Unless my writing suddenly and miraculously takes off so I can do this for a living.
Be on the lookout for The Skycaller pretty soon! I'm confident that once I'm finished with it, it'll be even better than before.
Your humble writing gremlin,
~Scott
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Almost There
Hello there, creatures of the internet,
It's been a while since I've updated anything about Charlie Cradle's Wonderful Existence, so this I thought I should at least say something. It was on a standstill for a long while, but something has happened and it's now being professionally edited, as well as getting a cover design by an artist. If all goes as planned, it should be available by the middle of end of March!
So look forward to it! I'll update more about it soon.
Your humble writing gremlin,
Scott
It's been a while since I've updated anything about Charlie Cradle's Wonderful Existence, so this I thought I should at least say something. It was on a standstill for a long while, but something has happened and it's now being professionally edited, as well as getting a cover design by an artist. If all goes as planned, it should be available by the middle of end of March!
So look forward to it! I'll update more about it soon.
Your humble writing gremlin,
Scott
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Holiday Challenge: Completed
Hello, creatures of the internet,
As of today, I have officially completely the first draft of my new book Charlie Cradle's Wonderful Existence. I may or may not have squealed happily a little bit. To say the least, I'm feeling really good right now! On the 16th, when I decided to challenge myself in completing my novella before the end of the holidays, of which I had 6,512 words total at the time, after that first day I wondered if I would regret it. I was afraid that the pressure of having to write a set amount of words per day might be a bit overwhelming or that I might not be able to find enough time. But in the end, I surprised myself by going over that minimum amount of words almost every day and because of it I was able to finish my book way ahead of schedule. I wrote over 30,000 words in under two weeks, which brought me to my goal of finishing my book at around 40,000 words. The total word count comes out to 39,120 words.
If anyone is interested in seeing how I kept up with my numbers each day, here's a small chart I filled in as I went:
Word Count Before Start of Challenge - 6,512
Goal Words Per Day to Reach 40,000 words by January 6: 1,522
Dec. 16 - 07,999/08,034 (Daily Count: 1,487 - 35 words short. Next day must write minimum 1557)
Dec. 17 - 10,814/09,556 (Daily Count: 2,815 - 1,258 words over. Next day must write minimum 264)
Dec. 18 - 14,124/11,078 (Daily Count: 3,310 - 3,046 words over. Next Day must write minimum 0)
Dec. 19 - 18,114/12,600 (Daily Count: 3,957 - 5,514 words over. Next Day must write minimum 0)
Dec. 20 - 21,095/14,122 (Daily Count: 2,978 - 6,973 words over. Next Day must write minimum 0)
Dec. 21 - 25,026/15,644 (Daily Count: 3,910 - 9,382 words over. Next Day must write minimum 0)
Dec. 22 - 27,047/17,166 (Daily Count: 2,033 - 9,881 words over. Next Day must write minimum 0)
Dec. 23 - 27,719/18,688 (Daily Count: 669 - 9,031 words over. Next Day must write minimum 0)
Dec. 24 - 29,790/20,210 (Daily Count: 2,069 - 9,580 words over. Next Day must write minimum 0)
Dec. 25 - 32,234/21,732 (Daily Count: 2,401 - 10,502 words over. Next Day must write minimum 0)
Dec. 26 - 36,193/23,254 (Daily Count: 4,008 - 12,939 words over. Next Day must write minimum 0)
Dec. 27 - 39,120/24,776 (Daily Count: 2,850 - 14,344 words over. COMPLETED)
Dec. 28 - ??,???/26,298
Dec. 29 - ??,???/27,829
Dec. 30 - ??,???/29,342
Dec. 31 - ??,???/30,864
Jan. 01 - ??,???/32,386
Jan. 02 - ??,???/33,908
Jan. 03 - ??,???/35,430
Jan. 04 - ??,???/36,952
Jan. 05 - ??,???/38,474
Jan. 06 - ??,???/40,000
So go ahead and check out the dedicated page to Charlie Cradle's Wonderful Existence to learn more what the book is about and what my plans for it are for the future!
Now I'm going to go relax and enjoy the rest of my holiday!
Your humble writing gremlin,
Scott
As of today, I have officially completely the first draft of my new book Charlie Cradle's Wonderful Existence. I may or may not have squealed happily a little bit. To say the least, I'm feeling really good right now! On the 16th, when I decided to challenge myself in completing my novella before the end of the holidays, of which I had 6,512 words total at the time, after that first day I wondered if I would regret it. I was afraid that the pressure of having to write a set amount of words per day might be a bit overwhelming or that I might not be able to find enough time. But in the end, I surprised myself by going over that minimum amount of words almost every day and because of it I was able to finish my book way ahead of schedule. I wrote over 30,000 words in under two weeks, which brought me to my goal of finishing my book at around 40,000 words. The total word count comes out to 39,120 words.
If anyone is interested in seeing how I kept up with my numbers each day, here's a small chart I filled in as I went:
Word Count Before Start of Challenge - 6,512
Goal Words Per Day to Reach 40,000 words by January 6: 1,522
Dec. 16 - 07,999/08,034 (Daily Count: 1,487 - 35 words short. Next day must write minimum 1557)
Dec. 17 - 10,814/09,556 (Daily Count: 2,815 - 1,258 words over. Next day must write minimum 264)
Dec. 18 - 14,124/11,078 (Daily Count: 3,310 - 3,046 words over. Next Day must write minimum 0)
Dec. 19 - 18,114/12,600 (Daily Count: 3,957 - 5,514 words over. Next Day must write minimum 0)
Dec. 20 - 21,095/14,122 (Daily Count: 2,978 - 6,973 words over. Next Day must write minimum 0)
Dec. 21 - 25,026/15,644 (Daily Count: 3,910 - 9,382 words over. Next Day must write minimum 0)
Dec. 22 - 27,047/17,166 (Daily Count: 2,033 - 9,881 words over. Next Day must write minimum 0)
Dec. 23 - 27,719/18,688 (Daily Count: 669 - 9,031 words over. Next Day must write minimum 0)
Dec. 24 - 29,790/20,210 (Daily Count: 2,069 - 9,580 words over. Next Day must write minimum 0)
Dec. 25 - 32,234/21,732 (Daily Count: 2,401 - 10,502 words over. Next Day must write minimum 0)
Dec. 26 - 36,193/23,254 (Daily Count: 4,008 - 12,939 words over. Next Day must write minimum 0)
Dec. 27 - 39,120/24,776 (Daily Count: 2,850 - 14,344 words over. COMPLETED)
Dec. 28 - ??,???/26,298
Dec. 29 - ??,???/27,829
Dec. 30 - ??,???/29,342
Dec. 31 - ??,???/30,864
Jan. 01 - ??,???/32,386
Jan. 02 - ??,???/33,908
Jan. 03 - ??,???/35,430
Jan. 04 - ??,???/36,952
Jan. 05 - ??,???/38,474
Jan. 06 - ??,???/40,000
So go ahead and check out the dedicated page to Charlie Cradle's Wonderful Existence to learn more what the book is about and what my plans for it are for the future!
Now I'm going to go relax and enjoy the rest of my holiday!
Your humble writing gremlin,
Scott
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Holiday Challenge: Day 10
Hello, creatures of the internet,
I hope everyone's having a merry Christmas! My family and I are. Especially my daughter, who's received more toys than we can store. I definitely foresee much blocks to pick up and toy babies to switch on/off. But it's great to see her get excited about those things.
Concerning the progress of Charlie Cradle's Wonderful Existence, I'm way ahead of schedule. So ahead, in fact, that I intend on finishing it this Friday - a whole nine days early. That's only if things go according to plan, of course. I'm just a bit over 31,000 words and I'm trying to wrap it up between 38k - 40k. I hate to hold myself back from writing over 40,000 words but I want this book to be categorized as a novella, so it has to remain under that amount. But I'm feeling pretty good about the whole thing. I've also already talked to an editor and starting at the beginning of February I'll begin the process of having it professionally edited.
It's back to writing for me,
Scott
I hope everyone's having a merry Christmas! My family and I are. Especially my daughter, who's received more toys than we can store. I definitely foresee much blocks to pick up and toy babies to switch on/off. But it's great to see her get excited about those things.
Concerning the progress of Charlie Cradle's Wonderful Existence, I'm way ahead of schedule. So ahead, in fact, that I intend on finishing it this Friday - a whole nine days early. That's only if things go according to plan, of course. I'm just a bit over 31,000 words and I'm trying to wrap it up between 38k - 40k. I hate to hold myself back from writing over 40,000 words but I want this book to be categorized as a novella, so it has to remain under that amount. But I'm feeling pretty good about the whole thing. I've also already talked to an editor and starting at the beginning of February I'll begin the process of having it professionally edited.
It's back to writing for me,
Scott
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